Due to their sporadic distribution in the wild, Belugas are a very rare and under-appreciated mammal. In fact, the Beluga is an incredibly shy and delicate creature that for centuries has flown under the radar of scientists and naturalists alike. That is why marine biologists at San Francisco's Aquarium of the Bay, are particularly fascinated with their latest discovery. The seven-month-old beluga whale who biologists are calling 'Pink', an homage to the once trendy pop star, believe that the coloring of this unique specimen is a function of evolution. While called a myth by former beleaguered MLB player Carl Everett, scientists believe that evolution is nature's practical way of protecting these endangered animals by camouflaging them. 'Pink's' unusually garish pink markings would theoretically provide protection in the wild by allowing her to blend in with the surrounding choral. The flamboyant color has also found a home with gay men, who have recently adopted Bruce the Bisexual Beluga as the official web-logo of the controversial organization MMFM (More Men for Men).
Recent analysis of the creature has shown that despite the longtime myth that Belugas, whose proximity to Alaska suggest a Pacific coast affiliation, are in fact die hard Red Sox fans. When asked who her favorite Red Sox player of all time is, 'Pink' responded Pokey Reese, who coincidentally went missing while vacationing on St. Lawrence Island. With the 2009 Red Sox currently in first place, majority owner and NRA member John Henry has stepped up security by hiring mercenary Connecticut Whalers to patrol the waters of Buzzards Bay. Henry, who could not otherwise be reached for comment, recently 'tweeted': 'The curse of the Beluga? Not on my watch."
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